Lost In A Memory
by FayesEmeraldEyes
Summary: The Real Folk Blues Reloaded. Just simply my version of the way I think that last episode should have played out. This is a S!
1. Prelude

Lost In A Memory  
  
By FayesEmeraldEyes  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
A/N: Prelude- an introductory performance, action, or event preceding and preparing for the principal or a more important matter. With that said, Fayes thoughts are in the italics and Spikes in normal.

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_With my hand on the door my heart it pours._  
  
I can feel my soul falling down to the floor.  
  
_Should I knock or just pick at the lock?_  
  
I'm asking for forgiveness, can you grant me that?  
  
_I gather my strength, but what is this I see? Your down on your knees, what is it you need?  
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I can't deny it, it bothers me constantly.  
  
_Open my mouth but the words won't come out._  
  
I feel your here, come sit with me dear.  
  
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	2. Smiles On Their Faces

Lost In A Memory  
  
By FayesEmeraldEyes  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
He cocked his head a little towards the side as to look at her features. So beautiful. Her tears making the emeralds glisten in the light. She walks closer and sits beside him as he looks her in the eyes. Its the first time they both had cried together. Looking at the hands in her lap, he couldn't help to feel just a little bit awkward. He was debating to go after Vicious or not. To revenge his dead lovers life. She had no business being here with him. 

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 Reaching for her hand, his fingers laced themselves with hers and it only felt right. Two fingers find there way to the crevice of her chin. Tilting up so that her eyes are met with yours. She's letting the tears pour now. 

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"Don't go" Its merely a whisper meant for him only. He looks at her with all his despair. "She's gone.. the one person who seemed to make it like it all mattered.. is dead". Without a tear, he squeezes and tightens the grip on her tiny hand. "And what's to say that you can't find it here. With us-" Pausing she kisses his knuckles. "-With me" He knows those thoughts have never crossed his mind but now her heart is on the line. "I would die for you Spike." His eyes grow wide and his heart, it sinks. Does he feel the same. These feelings have never been explored. Should he test them, or ignore that gut feeling that begs him to pursue her. Then those pale lips they come towards his and in this moment he is happy. His large hands wrap around her tiny waist as he lets himself inhale. Her scent like lavender and her skin like silk. His mind tells him to let go but his emotions have gotten the best of him. Holding on for his life, his soul. Her nails dig into your back sending tiny pieces of heaven along your spine. If this is wrong then why does it feel so right? Moments passing, hormones raging. Take it the next step? No! There is no time for this. Pulling away, you only see her face. Tears of Crimson slide down her cheeks. This might be the last time you ever see her smile. *`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`


	3. Knives In Their Backs

Lost In A Memory  
  
By FayesEmeraldEyes  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  


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Time to say adieu. All together its way to early, but its time. It kills you to leave and it kills you to stay. To say you did not enjoy that bliss would be a lie. Its written all over your face, left for the world to know. But It seems as the world has slowed. Its only you and her now. Oh how you want to be here for her. To be here when she needs to break down. To be here just to be here, but you know you can't be. For those years of your life you have loved no other. Memories calling your name. The past always catches up with you when its least expected. Looking away from those eyes you face the door. Its slightly open and looking as if someone is at your door. Shades of blonde hit your eyes. Spinning around, Faye has been positioned to the bed. Behind her fragile body stands a man, hair as white and, eyes as cold, as snow. Things happen for a reason, your mother always told you. Your heart it brakes for the one you used to love and the one right in front of you. A bloodied hand is placed upon your shoulder. Looking over you see the one you thought had already drifted away. But she's there. There to torture you and press the knives hard.. harder into your back. 

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Your mind is spinning now. Faster and faster, begging you to choose. To step back into the dream world or stay here in agony in the real world, but would it really be so bad just to stay. Maybe you could leave it all behind. Walk away and let fate do as it must. Since when have you believed in fate? Never helping you before and showing its ugly face like a snake with its fangs. Something sharp makes it mark in your back. You turn to see her. Eyes as black as night, her face still. She's going to kill you and that's not the way it should be. Can you see it more clearly now? Fate was in front of you this whole time. Faye is your fate.  
  
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	4. Ive Dreamt It All Before

Lost In A Memory  
  
By FayesEmeraldEyes  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  


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"You know Spike... I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after and changed my ideas. They've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind-" With a pause Vicious's eyes become ice cold. With a glare at Spike, he continues, while shoving his katanna closer towards Faye's slender body. "-Do you see it more now? To think, we had always imagined I'd be your death but how odd things play out, isn't it Spike? I told you she never loved you. It was me her heart burned for." Julia, stepping a bit closer towards Vicious, brought back her knife from its hold on Spikes back. "It always has been Vicious, and it always will be." Julia's coy voice was enough to make a person want to tear off its own ears. The pain from her words, hurt Spike more then the indention's from the knife, that had once been penetrating its edge into his back. Faye noticed his pain and struggled to pry herself away from Vicious's grasp. "You bitch! Take it back, can't you see it's killing him!!" With each angry word, five fingers applied more pressure into her arm, the katanna digging tighter into her flesh helping Faye let out a whimper. Spike hung his head low, afraid to look at them, for the fear his heart would tear. Julia laughed as she roughly pulled Spike's head up to face her. "Aw poor Spike." Julia pretended to pout as Spike stared her blankly in the eyes as Julia let the knife cut marks on to his cheek. The blood fell from his face onto her shoe. Watching the two Faye could not help but cry out once again. "Spike you don't have to take this from them, please! Defend yourself!" Vicious had had enough. Faye was none of his trouble it was Spike he was after. "Go on Julia. Take his life." Julia smirked as Vicious dragged Faye over towards the door. "Have your fun Julia. Show the bastard no mercy." Closing the door, Spike could hear mangled screams, no doubt coming from his comrade, as she crashed to the floor.  
  
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	5. Door

Lost In A Memory  
  
By FayesEmeraldEyes  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
  


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A/N: Just to let you know why this story is called Door: They say that when you dream of a closed door it represents opportunities that are not available to you. So if Spike was dreaming of a closed door it would represent him not being able to have Julia again. Make sense?  
  
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"While awake, we think in words; asleep, we think of images-" Focusing his eyes, Spike looked at Julia's callous expression. "-You see Spike, in my dreams I thought of you as being just a memory. Now let me show you the world in my eyes". Dropping the knife and kicking it to the floor, she reached inside her trench, only to pull out one of Spikes glocks. Spike snarled. "How'd you get that?" "Next time when you flee, make sure you don't drop any of your guns Spike." Julia grinned and shot him in the arm sending him flying back, his body landing on the still knife. Spike shuddered in pain from the shot and the knife that had emerged into the back of his chest as he tried to slide away. Steps closer, Julia bent down and twisted two of her fingers into his womb. As Spike screamed in agony, Julia tore them out and wiped the blood along his jaw line. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He swore he wouldn't let them but Julia's words continued to eat away at him. Killing love would be hard but not as hard as having it hurt you. "You know Joules.. we all need time to dream, time to remember, and time to reach the infinite." Spike stood to his feet, and with a swift kick, knocked Julia to her knees. Grabbing a hold of her blonde locks, he pulls her to face him. Retrieving his gun from her hands and pointing it to her temple, his eyes burn into hers. "Give me one good reason. Just one- why was it Vicious? I gave you everything- my heart... my life" Julia smiled and snapped her head forward to kiss him quickly. "You could never do this. I'm Julia." Placing the gun back to her forehead, Spike began to click the trigger. "Alright then.. I'll tell you the truth. I once had dreams for us too Spike- but I drank them all away. Then I too found a side of Vicious no other had the privilege of finding. He's just more of a man then you ever were." Shaking, Spike shoved back the gun from her temple and shot numerous times at her heart. Regaining his mind of what he had just done, Spike took a step back. He had looked love in the face and won. Holding his own wounded arm, and stepping into the hallway, he let his mind face the cold reality. Love was dead, killed by his own hands- and to think they wondered why he had become so bitter.  
  
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	6. Agreed

Lost In A Memory  
  
By FayesEmeraldEyes  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  


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Stepping clearly into the hallway, he looked around for a sign of life. Vicious laid on the floor near Jet's bonsai room and as for Faye- well- Faye was no where in sight. Spike let his eyes continue to search for her, finding her motionless body on the floor in the bathroom. Blood was now staining the tiled floor and Spike could see traces of blood along the hallway where she undoubtedly had struggled to crawl. For a moment it looked as if his world had fully collapsed. Bending down to her, he placed his hand on her cheek. "mm- your hand is cold" Spike looked down at Faye, while her eyes remained closed. "How'd this happen Faye. What did you do?" Faye tried to laugh but her chest just rose and fell with each troubled breath. "I killed him Spike. He was going to kill me so that he could kill Julia before she had the chance to kill you. He wanted to take credit for causing you pain. I couldn't let him do that to you. She's your angel, remember?" Turning his gaze to the wall, he watched as the bathroom mirror allowed him to see the man he had become. The man he never wanted to see. His face was filtered with blood and tears as he fell to the floor. Looking at Faye for a moment, he softly rubbed forehead. " I-I kil-led her Fa-ye." Faye adjusted her eyes to the light and looked Spike in the face. "That's where your wrong Spike. She was dead all along. She just couldn't see what had been in front of her eyes the how time." Trying to find a smile, Spike brushed some hair from her face, only to discover a now dry patch of blood across the side, matting some of her hair. Dragging his hand from her face and down to her stomach, he found two inserted gashes. Faye winced a bit at his touch but let him continue. "Lost in a memory" Faye smiled and once again closed her eyes. "I won't die on you if you don't die on me." Spike forced a laugh and kissed her pale lips. "Agreed." 

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**_Times have passed, as only for the better._** *`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*


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